Cards and Kisses

We have an old wipes container full of random cards. There's face cards, color cards, number cards, letter cards, Pooh cards, Elmo cards, and a few church pictures. They all used to be complete sets in and of themselves, but with kids .. .yeah right. So, we just pile them together and let the kids play with them every so often.

Here's how they were playing with them today.

Now afterwards, there was a big mess. I did not want to help the girls clean up cards AND toys AND books AND who knows what else. So I told them that they couldn't play with anything else until the cards were picked up.

My three-year old really knows how to push my buttons sometimes, and I'm sad to admit that I reacted just as she anticipated. I got angry back and grabbed her a little too roughly and spoke a little too loudly. (Am I the only mom that wants to squeeze something really hard when I get frustrated? Like my fingers instinctively clench together and my jaw clenches and I am ready to just grab a hold of something. Sadly, one of the things I grab is often my kids' arms . . .)

So, I realized. . perhaps a bit too late . .. .that my reaction was not appropriate for what was going on. I took a few minutes and locked myself in my room to cool down, pray and do some repenting. When I came back out I spoke gently with the girls apologizing for being too rough and too loud. She immediately responded with the sweetest kiss and said, "It's OK, Mommy!" And Lucy--who does absolutely everything big sister does-- gives me a big smacker on the cheek, too.

These girls melt my heart.

Of course, when I have a gentle enough heart to see it.

Repenting is hard. Changing how I react to things is unbelievably hard. But it's worth earning those sweet kisses and hugs.

But it also  makes me wonder. . .how many sweet kisses am I missing out on when I react poorly in the first place?